There are a lot of things I could write about this cartoon.  Many years before Rob and I had children, I watched my sisters and incredulously declared, "Wow, you just have to entertain them all day long.  If you want to read a book or write an essay you can't do it! The children are always there!"  There's a lot to say about where I was then compared to where I am now. Or at least where I should be now.

There are a lot of things I wish Rob and I could negotiate in a contract.   Provisions could include things such as the following:

• Ellie and Matt shall not demand food or toys or games while Mom is feeding Tessa
• Only one child may cry at a time
• Any period of sleep shorter than one hour shall not constitute fulfillment of a nap
• Decisions concerning meal time and menu, approved activities and outings, bath time and duration, and bedtime routines shall be made solely by Mom and/or Dad.  Children may provide limited input but may not display any displeasure at the final decision.
• No child shall have a meltdown in any public place, including but not limited to those places (e.g. libraries) that require quiet from their patrons.
• Except in case of severe injury or potty accident, children shall not request the presence of Mom and/or Dad during the hours of 8:00 pm and 8:00 am.  Itchy skin, imaginary scratches, mild thirst, or lack of doll/bear in bed do not constitute severe injury.
• Failure to abide by any provision shall constitute a breach of contract, entitling Mom and Dad to damages including but not limited to the following:  allow the injured party 1 or more hours of complete quiet, during which time the injured party may take a nap, read a book, or pursue any other leisure activity; clean all toys without parental supervision; entertain another sibling by any means resulting in smiles and happy noises from the sibling being entertained; other remedies created and requested in the sole discretion of the injured party.

There are lots of things I could write about this cartoon.  But for now, I'll just give a big public expression of gratitude to Rob, who came home a little bit early from work yesterday and immediately sent me out to explore the world on my own.  I went to my favorite bookstore, ate in the cafe, worked on my Sunday School lesson, and read books about parenting.  I stopped at the store to replenish our supply of baby foot and Vitamin Water and arrived home four hours later feeling cleansed from the week.  Turns out, the parenting books indicate that our children's behavior is pretty typical, and we're not complete parental failures.  Now if we could only get that contract in place...